It’s OKAY Not To Love Your Family

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How do you love someone who you think doesn’t deserve your love? Or someone who has hurt you so much that you think it’s damn time you walk away? You can’t and you shouldn’t. Why should you when there are so many people out there who are in desperate need of love and care? Why should you when you can channel your love instead towards people who would actually appreciate what you have to offer?

But of course, the game changes when the other person bears a certain title. Family, for example. It seems like there’s this unspoken agreement in many places in the world that blood ties grant you some sort of immunity.

We are supposed to love anyone who’s related to us by blood regardless what they do. We’re supposed to simply offer forgiveness to those who hurt us if they are our blood relatives and we are so conditioned to these values that when we don’t love our certain family member because of the pain they cause, we feel bad.

I think it’s about time to stop teaching children to love people who treat them terribly just because they are family. Why should we force ourselves to love someone at the expense of our own well-being? Even if it’s our family. If they truly are family, they shouldn’t hurt us in the first place.

I have friends who are more like family to me than some of my family members. I’m sorry to say it (not really) but that’s the truth. So why should I spend my time trying to love people who don’t want it? I would rather spend my time, my energy and my love on others who value my effort.

I’m a believer of unconditional love. I think love should be given freely and to everybody. After all, we have unlimited reserve. But when the love you’re giving is thrown back at your face and it’s starting to hurt too much, it’s time to walk away. You need to love yourself first. Otherwise, you won’t have the unlimited resource of love you can shower other people with.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

You cannot force or make someone love another human being just because he/she has a certain label on him/her. It doesn’t work that way.

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When it hurts too much, walk away.

Everyone should try their best to love. But when it gets too much — too much sacrifices are being made — and pain is no longer bearable, it’s time to put a stop on things. Being a family doesn’t grant anyone a special privilege that they don’t deserve.

Love is free, but it’s also a choice.

Writer by heart. Teacher (English, Yoga, Pilates) by trade. Avid reader. World traveller. Model. You can reach me at

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