I actually saw this coming. I’ve had a chat with another writer on Medium about having more claps but earning less these past couple of weeks. Apparently there were a few other writers who shared the same conundrum too.
So when I finally received an e-mail of what I’ve earned from Medium for the month of February, I couldn’t stopped staring at the numbers on the screen.
I looked at my earnings for this month and even though I saw it coming, I still felt this… feeling just blossomed inside my chest without a warning.
The amount of my earnings have been gradually climbing up that a decrease sent me into a dissatisfaction or worse, unhappiness (*shudder*).
I had to mentally slapped myself. Like literally. But inside my head.
What is this attitude? I should know better!
I’m being ungrateful!
I can still remember the feeling of earning my first $20 from my first month in Medium. I was so happy! Happy might be an understatement. I was ecstatic, elated, joyful!
I smiled so wide it hurt my cheeks!
I’m earning more than that first $20 now. Why shouldn’t I be happy about it? There are people out there who probably work more and earn less, probably doing the job they dislike.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I sensed a rebellion from my contentment department in my head and I immediately squashed it down like a bug.
There is no place nor energy for this ungrateful crap.
I am healthy. I live in a good, comfortable place. I am surrounded by loving, caring, amazing people and most importantly, I am actually making a living from doing what I love doing the most!
Why should I be unhappy just because I earn less than last month?
Instead of lamenting and pondering why, I should be striving to do better. This is NOT a permanent situation and I have the power to change it.
So I’m not going to sit and wonder why I earn less this month. Instead, I’m gonna sit and try to figure out how I can better myself for next month and the month after and the month after.
I’m going to take matter into my own hands and make a change!
Let’s make March a better month!